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June 2, 2008

Clearing Up Some Misconceptions

I received a response to my e-mail of May 26th, 2008. Apparently my e-mail created some misconceptions that I felt led to correct.

Dear ***:

Thank you for the response. I feel led to share a few things with you because I may not have done a very good job of communicating where Kelly and I find ourselves today spiritually. Though we are in some ways, totally unsure where we are heading, I want to make clear that we are absolutely delighted to be on this journey to "who knows where." Actually I guess I could say that I believe I know where it leads and that is to a knowledge of God and a knowledge of our true selves.

While in the messianic movement, I think I got caught up in the "loathe Christianity" mindset to some degree. Of course the loathing to me was "righteous anger," at least that is how I justified it. And yes I think the messianic movement and orthodox Judaism are flawed, just as every other man made religion is so I have come to the place I think where I am "okay" with it all. It is what it is and I am not going to get bent out of shape over the beliefs of someone else. I am going to do my best to quiet the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil that seems to be at work in me far too often and refrain from judging this or that as good, evil, right, wrong, etc. I would really like to avoid that path as much as possible. I have no problem expressing what I believe to be the truth but I have come to realize that a) no one has all the truth and b) based upon past experience, what I believe to be true today could change by tomorrow so I really need to work on expressing what I perceive to be truth and avoid condemning someone else's version of truth.

(Added at a later date: There are some doctrines that I will work vehemently against because I believe that they have very serious negative consequences.)

If I came across as disillusioned, it wasn't my intent. In fact, the opposite would be true. I am excited about this spiritual path Kelly and I find ourselves on. Every day some new insight, revelation, teaching, or web site surfaces. I think we feel in many ways like kids in the candy store. I am overwhelmed with choices and wish there were more hours in the day to explore all these new concepts etc. that we are being inundated with.

We feel so free. We aren't looking to any religion to find our "truth" though we are certainly reading lots of books, watching DVDs, searching the internet etc. Quite a few are from sources I would have judged and condemned not all that long ago. We are looking inside of us, to our spirit and the Spirit of God and sensing in our hearts what it is that God wants to teach us and where God wants to lead us. We are completely focused on the kingdom within meaning simply experiencing the love of God inside and hopefully radiating it out to others.

There is also freedom that comes from not feeling that we have to convince, coerce, manipulate, etc. anyone into thinking and believing as we do. We are so content in simply trusting in the existence of God and out of that existence, we can have complete peace in the knowledge that God will work this all out, regardless of what any of us "do." A friend of mine came up with a new personal statement of faith that I really like... "God IS, and so, AM I".

I took it and flopped two words for my personal statement of faith... "God IS, and so, I AM."Along with that we also like "I am an experience God is having... and so are you!"

***, regarding what you wrote about the Torah, Sabbath, etc., ten years ago I would have completely disagreed with you. Three years ago I would have totally agreed with you. Today, I am find myself simply acknowledging and respecting your beliefs and viewing them as your personal choice, right for you as long as you hold to them, but neither right or wrong for anyone else. For Kelly and I, ***, we have come to the place where the desire to trash any religion is hopefully disappearing. We are looking for something that we believe lies beyond Christianity, Judaism, Hebrew Roots, Buddhism, Taoism, Hinduism, etc. and yet within every religion lie remnants of that ancient path and remnants of the "truth." Our God isn't a Jew, isn't a Christian, isn't a Hebrew Roots person, isn't a Buddhist, Taoist, Hindu, etc. Paraphrasing Paul, there is no Jew, or Greek, male or female, bond or free in God. God is no respecter of persons. God is in every human being which ought to make loving every person easy, if we claim to love God.

I pray that you will find all that you are looking for. In many cases, I believe that all that we are looking for is a) God and b) the true "us," the true inner person that Paul discovered and writes about in Romans 7.  Far too often the only "us" we know is the other person Paul writes about, the "self/ego/carnal mind."

Blessings, shalom, namaste

Doug Trudell


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